necronomicon

adam and i just got into an argument because i was looking through the necronomicon and made a joke about how we should try to conjure spirits for fun. he said it would be hypocritical of his beliefs to believe in demons and spirits when he doesn't believe in god. i do not subscribe to any religion either. i just thought it would be fun to conjure shit, for the same reason ouija boards are fun. i mean, we're talking about the same thing, right? i don't believe in ghosts. i don't believe in the "afterlife". i don't believe in god. and i don't believe in the devil. but i understand the root behind all of these beliefs. it all boils down to the same thing anyways. it's something that really only allows me to align myself near buddhism or taoism. but even western religions are just warped versions of the same shit. you have to empty yourself to be full. moderation. it becomes much like training a dog. some instincts should be stifled and controlled. you needn't just kill someone because you think of it. or fuck everyone you get an urge to. you mustn't be greedy. etc...

and yes, these are the things that separate us from animals. but many might strive for more than just being "not an animal".

however, we're living in a society that is in such opposition with any religion or belief system. capitalism thrives on greed. if you're republican, like my father, you believe that greed is necessary. it has become this way. nothing works without it. should you choose to try to live without it, you will be thwarted. we are taught to buy things and that makes us happy. after a while though, we have to buy something else to fill the emptiness that has grown. and so on. that stuff you want isn't really what "we" want which is why it never satisfies. the only happiness to be found is when we do not want. if you remove any desire from your life, you will be content to just be, right? that's where many western religions fail. they hint all around that stuff but they allow for some want. they allow room for the devil to creep in. they allow the gods to test them. ain't no god, buddy. and there ain't no devil. that's all just you in there.

the sooner an individual learns this, the sooner they will be free from fear...and the religions that operate on it.