Thursday, September 16, 2010

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

oh, the things i would do to you...if you didn't cost $80.
"when you have quieted your mind enough and transcended your ego enough you can hear how it really is. so: when you are with a candleflame, you are the candleflame and when you are with another being's mind, you are the other beings mind. there is a task to do, you are the task. the mindless quality of total involvement comes only when the ego is quiet and there is no attachment."

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

i'm feeling the urgent burning need to leave maine again. for a while. for. ever. iduncare. just get me out. i feel like maine's shitty girlfriend who wants to say "i don't love you anymore and i want to fuck other people" but instead i say "i need some space. for me. i just need some time". that way, i can leave and maine will still be waiting for me with fresh wounds and she'll be eager for me to heal them. or, should i choose to never return, maine can just eventually get a clue or else go on waiting for my call. that all just really depends on how co-dependent maine has become during my stay. maybe maine has some balls. maybe she'll reject me if i stay away to long. but. if past observation serves....


Thursday, September 2, 2010

my little sister came to visit from tennessee last week. i have a cat who i named "sister" because my sister used to pretend she was a cat and she would sleep curled up on her pillow and night and make me pet her and she would purr and purr. now she's a cowgirl. like, a real one. i'm pretty sure she fakes her southern accent. we grew up in the south, but after having moved to germany for four years and then to maine during fairly formative years...any traces of such accent faded away. she moved to tennessee a couple years ago and her accent is thick as molasses sometimes and thin as wax paper the next. we're sort of estranged. i only see her once a year. i miss her phone calls more often than i should. we were really close when we were young but something happened and we grew apart. i feel like we can't really relate to eachother anymore. i feel closer to my brothers because i feel like they know what makes me tick. she's kind of just this person that i love. like, she used to be a caterpillar and i was something of a caterpillar too and now she's a butterfly and i'm a moth and the past is so distant and we can't remember how we were the same but we can feel that we were. whatever. she helped me trim egypt's nails because i'm scared to make her bleed and hate me:
my sister, sarah and i.

our momma puttered around and ironed things that no one ever wears or uses.
me and momma

and babies took naps on couches
sleeping babies

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

last summer

was a summer of love. i feel like i've lost some people. i miss jenny.

local 188


jenny and joey


pleasant street was never so pleasant


kitchen dance

a little diddy

i wish my job wasn't sapping my will to live this summer.

lobster festival

in rockland, maine

lobster festival

lobster festival

bigladies at the lobster festival

we were there for less than fifteen minutes. i wanted to take lots of photographs, but the place was crawling with cone-eaters and toothless locals.