Tuesday, November 2, 2010

and since that last post was so long winded and boring and trite...here's some pictures i took at the beach:

old orchard beach


adam and i just got into an argument because i was looking through the necronomicon and made a joke about how we should try to conjure spirits for fun. he said it would be hypocritical of his beliefs to believe in demons and spirits when he doesn't believe in god. i do not subscribe to any religion either. i just thought it would be fun to conjure shit, for the same reason ouija boards are fun. i mean, we're talking about the same thing, right? i don't believe in ghosts. i don't believe in the "afterlife". i don't believe in god. and i don't believe in the devil. but i understand the root behind all of these beliefs. it all boils down to the same thing anyways. it's something that really only allows me to align myself near buddhism or taoism. but even western religions are just warped versions of the same shit. you have to empty yourself to be full. moderation. it becomes much like training a dog. some instincts should be stifled and controlled. you needn't just kill someone because you think of it. or fuck everyone you get an urge to. you mustn't be greedy. etc...

and yes, these are the things that separate us from animals. but many might strive for more than just being "not an animal".

however, we're living in a society that is in such opposition with any religion or belief system. capitalism thrives on greed. if you're republican, like my father, you believe that greed is necessary. it has become this way. nothing works without it. should you choose to try to live without it, you will be thwarted. we are taught to buy things and that makes us happy. after a while though, we have to buy something else to fill the emptiness that has grown. and so on. that stuff you want isn't really what "we" want which is why it never satisfies. the only happiness to be found is when we do not want. if you remove any desire from your life, you will be content to just be, right? that's where many western religions fail. they hint all around that stuff but they allow for some want. they allow room for the devil to creep in. they allow the gods to test them. ain't no god, buddy. and there ain't no devil. that's all just you in there.

the sooner an individual learns this, the sooner they will be free from fear...and the religions that operate on it.

Monday, October 11, 2010



adam holding egypt and jenna's dog, arrow
jenna brought her chihuahua, arrow over to play with egypt. i'm pretty sure they're in love now. before we adopted her, she had puppies by a chihuahua...so he probably reminds her of her babies' daddy.

arrow, seth's legs, and egypt

adam took this
work has been more of a drag recently, but i've been drawing a lot more on my days off which makes me feel real accomplished or something.

now that it's getting cold out, i'm in the mood to start baking again. i like to make real fancy shit. i used to know a girl named holly and i made a lavender poundcake and some cupcakes for her birthday party a few years ago:

cake at party

cupcake again
sometimes i see her on the street but she just kinda looks the other way so i've taken to doing the same. not really sure what happened there, and i probably don't even care. err...well, i guess i do a little because i'm sitting here writing about it now.

so, there's an antique shop that i believe is in raymond. maybe it's windham? i don't know, either way, it's on 302 right after a shopping plaza with a tony's foodland and a subway and some movie rental place and it looks like this:
it's really neat. there's lots of old cameras, records, weird old dresses and hats, and old keys there. it's nice because nothing is marked with a price and the lady basically just gives most of it away. it's the kind of place that's so unorganized and dusty that you have to spend two hours there before you get bored or start to sneeze uncontrollably. if any ladies out there wanna take a trip there with me sometime, i'd be thrilled and we could come back and i'd make you some of that tea that blooms in front of you. i'll pour yours if you'll pour mine.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

oh, the things i would do to you...if you didn't cost $80.
"when you have quieted your mind enough and transcended your ego enough you can hear how it really is. so: when you are with a candleflame, you are the candleflame and when you are with another being's mind, you are the other beings mind. there is a task to do, you are the task. the mindless quality of total involvement comes only when the ego is quiet and there is no attachment."

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

i'm feeling the urgent burning need to leave maine again. for a while. for. ever. iduncare. just get me out. i feel like maine's shitty girlfriend who wants to say "i don't love you anymore and i want to fuck other people" but instead i say "i need some space. for me. i just need some time". that way, i can leave and maine will still be waiting for me with fresh wounds and she'll be eager for me to heal them. or, should i choose to never return, maine can just eventually get a clue or else go on waiting for my call. that all just really depends on how co-dependent maine has become during my stay. maybe maine has some balls. maybe she'll reject me if i stay away to long. but. if past observation serves....


Thursday, September 2, 2010

my little sister came to visit from tennessee last week. i have a cat who i named "sister" because my sister used to pretend she was a cat and she would sleep curled up on her pillow and night and make me pet her and she would purr and purr. now she's a cowgirl. like, a real one. i'm pretty sure she fakes her southern accent. we grew up in the south, but after having moved to germany for four years and then to maine during fairly formative years...any traces of such accent faded away. she moved to tennessee a couple years ago and her accent is thick as molasses sometimes and thin as wax paper the next. we're sort of estranged. i only see her once a year. i miss her phone calls more often than i should. we were really close when we were young but something happened and we grew apart. i feel like we can't really relate to eachother anymore. i feel closer to my brothers because i feel like they know what makes me tick. she's kind of just this person that i love. like, she used to be a caterpillar and i was something of a caterpillar too and now she's a butterfly and i'm a moth and the past is so distant and we can't remember how we were the same but we can feel that we were. whatever. she helped me trim egypt's nails because i'm scared to make her bleed and hate me:
my sister, sarah and i.

our momma puttered around and ironed things that no one ever wears or uses.
me and momma

and babies took naps on couches
sleeping babies

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

last summer

was a summer of love. i feel like i've lost some people. i miss jenny.

local 188


jenny and joey


pleasant street was never so pleasant


kitchen dance

a little diddy

i wish my job wasn't sapping my will to live this summer.

lobster festival

in rockland, maine

lobster festival

lobster festival

bigladies at the lobster festival

we were there for less than fifteen minutes. i wanted to take lots of photographs, but the place was crawling with cone-eaters and toothless locals.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Thursday, August 12, 2010

this guy makes the most amazing perfume oils ever. they come with names like "burning leaves"
and "in the library" and each one has a little back story to go with it. the story for the one above goes like this:
" This scent is a memory of my Grandfather, the sawmill that he owned and the stone house where he lived. It is blended with Sawdust, Fresh Cut Hay, Worn Leather Work Gloves, Pipe Tobacco and a healthy amount of Dirt. There is also a faint whiff of cotton overalls covered in Axel Grease..."

how perfect is that??? the correlation between scent and memory has always intrigued me. there's a crappy little grocery store in town called paul's food center and something in there always reminds me of my grandparents' house in north carolina. the scent causes a flood of memories of that house that i never think about until i walk into paul's. it's like little details come back to me. the color of the walls, the way the burgundy rugs in the bathroom feel on my feet, the sound of the porch swing squeakin' as my grandmother rocks back and forth, the hoe on the porch that she uses to chop off the heads of poisonous snakes that come too close...

deborah aschheim
has done projects dealing with similar issues by trying to transfer her own memories of her aunts to other people. she fed people food and drinks and surrounded them with scents (such as the cigarettes they smoked) that reminded her of her aunts while reading memories to them and then does it all again after certain periods of time to see how much they remember by experiencing those things again. much of her art is memory related and she has a scientific way of going about her creation. click on her link if it sounds interesting to you, and totally go see her installations if you ever get a chance.

the flood

a couple weeks ago, adam and i were visiting my parents' house in rockland. it was a super rainy night and the creek in front of their house was filling up and starting to flood the driveway and road to the point where cars had to slow down and go around. My brother went into the basement to see if the pump was working. it wasn't. water was flooding down a concrete slab on the east end of the house and creeping across the gigantic basement. the outlet next to the pump had shorted out so we ran an extension cord upstairs to get it working again. no more than 10 minutes later we went downstairs to make sure it was still pumping. noooope. it had escalated to this:
water started pouring in the windows and there was nothing we could do to stop it. the water turned black with oil from our furnace. we started trying to move important things up above everything else, pretty much by stacking less important stuff and putting the good stuff on top. in less than 20 minutes, shit looked even bleaker.
i don't know if you can see it, but there are multiple televisions floating in that mess. also, that's a basement with really high ceilings-so you're looking at 4+ feet of wa-wa. my dad came home and braved his way over to the pump to fix it and by morning, the water was gone. my hero. adam and i took advantage of the tension in the atmosphere and took photos of eachother.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

It constantly surprises me how a dog's temperament can be influenced by their breed. Egypt is an italian greyhound that we rescued in june. We had little to no knowledge of the breed when we decided to adopt her so we researched on the internet prior to her arrival (mostly on youtube, so what?). All their mannerisms and idiosyncrasies are so simlilar, and we found egypt to be no different. She is always either snuggling or running around like a little mingus, just like these igs: