i am a pretty terrible person. someone told me once, after touching a quartz crystal of mine, that i was twisted up inside and i don't want to change. and maybe it's true. i take comfort in pain. i turn the hearts of anyone close to me into ice. my psyche looms like a drought sometimes, turning the soil barren and picking every last shriveled leaf off the trees. i don't know what i'm looking for. i'm pretty sure if i found it, i'd just crush it in my hand and continue searching.